Top 10 Timeless Quality of a Lady

A “lady” has evolved significantly throughout the ages. While at one time ladies were expected to wear hats and gloves in public, today’s dress standard doesn’t include such wardrobe details. And while it was once required for a lady to have an escort to attend functions, today’s lady can go about independently. What is ageless are the characteristics of a lady that express her consideration and respect for others. Here are 10 timeless qualities of a lady:

  1. Accepts gentlemanly gestures: A lady allows a gentleman to show his respect and courtesy for her. She also allows other women to assist should she need. A lady understands that allowing others to be courteous is a powerful thing. (So say yes to his offer to help with your carry-on bag.)
  2. Watches her mouth: A lady uses the magic words (thank you, please, and excuse me) in her everyday language and avoids foul language. She also doesn’t assume that casual acquaintances are interested in unsolicited dialogue about personal troubles and keeps such conversations for the appropriate confidants. (And a lady knows when to close her mouth and be a good listener.)
  3. Primps in private: Should a lady need to touch up her makeup, reapply nail polish or adjust her clothes, she removes herself from the view of other people and goes to a washroom or private place. (What about perfume you ask? Same rule applies.)
  4. Greets people properly: A lady knows that it is a time-honored display of respect to stand to greet someone who just entered the room. (That rule isn’t just for men any more.) She also knows to smile, make eye contact, and give a firm handshake when meeting a person.
  5. Respects other people’s time: A lady tries her best to be on time. She understands that lateness may be interpreted as “I am more important that you or this event” which could cost her a friend, a job or an appointment. If being late is unavoidable, a lady will always contact the appropriate person to inform them of her estimated time of arrival with an apology.
  6. Deals politely with rudeness: A lady knows the true test of her grace and poise is when it is challenged by inconsiderate behavior. When someone is offensive, she gives the person the benefit of the doubt (knowing most people don’t mean to be rude) and never responds in the same way. She picks her battles, always thinks before she speaks, and chooses to be civil rather than to demean.
  7. Makes those in her presence feel valued: A lady will give genuine attention to those in her company and give them priority over those who communicating with her via phone. She understands it is rude to text or scroll through social media while speaking or listening to another person. (Yes, that means in a meeting, party, church, lecture, etc.)
  8. Knows how to say no: A lady knows how to respond to an unwanted advance in a way that will stop the behavior while not humiliating the other person. (“Sorry, dearie, I’m already taken.”) She also knows that while she should make herself available for family, friends, and career that she needs be aware of feeling stretched thin and pull back to sort out her priorities. A lady also knows to never say yes if she does not intend to keep the commitment.
  9. Gives and accepts compliments: A lady give compliments when they are deserved and sincere. She also graciously accepts compliments when offered to her. She doesn’t wave them off with a “Oh, it was nothing” but rather responds with a heartfelt “Thank you” or “You are so kind to say so.”
  10. Is prepared: A lady considers where she is going and carries items that are necessary to ensure a comfortable experience for herself and others. While certain events may require specific items (such as a scarf for the theatre or cough drops for a ticklish throat) basic things like tissues, aspirin, a pen, breath mints, and vex money are staple supplies in her bag.

A lady knows that beauty may fade and wealth may be fleeting but her character is how others will judge and remember her. Being considered a “lady” should be one of the highest compliments for a woman because it means she recognises her infinite worth and uses it to positively impact others.

Want to help polishing up your image? Contact me at laura@pearl-strategies.com for a coaching session.

THIS ALSO WAS PUBLISHED IN THE AUGUST 2017 CARE MAGAZINE DISTRIBUTED WITH TRINIDAD & TOBAGO GUARDIAN NEWSPAPER.

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Teach Your Children The Value of Showing Appreciation

“Thank you.” Saying it is truly magic. Those two simple words can lift someone’s spirit, foster relationships, instill feelings of belonging, infuse an awareness of appreciation, improve happiness, and strengthen emotional well-being. And the magic happens for BOTH the person showing gratitude and the person on the receiving end.

When you say thank you, you feel good and your perception of gratitude increases. When you hear a sincere thank you, your happiness increases and you are more likely to show gratitude to others. It’s a lovely, warm-fuzzy, positive cycle.

So when you invest the time and make the effort to teach your child the value of appreciation and thankfulness, you will arm them with emotional strength that will improve their quality of life, now and in the future.

Here are my top tips to teach children how to show appreciation.

  1. Be sure “thank you” is said at home

Courtesy begins at home. Make “thank you” a commonly used phrase within the walls of your house. Parents who verbalize appreciation to other adults and the children in the home are setting an example. You can remind your kids to say “thank you” all you want but unless they hear you say “thanks” and see you show appreciation, it won’t matter much. Your child pays much closer attention to your behavior than she does to your advice, so practice what you preach. Say “thank you” often, even for small things.

  1. Prompt your child to say “thank you” if he or she forgets

When you give your child his lunch, sippy cup, toy, or anything, pleasantly remind him to say “thank you Mommy” if he doesn’t remember himself. It takes a bit of dedication on your part (and sometimes for a while) but the end result is that the consistent reminders will eventually plant in his brain and he will say “thank you” himself without the prompting.

  1. Recognize everyday courtesies

Most people make an effort to express their thanks for gifts, favors, awards and such but it is important to show appreciation for the everyday courtesies. Help your children recognize when someone does something nice for them, like share a snack or to allow them to pass in a room. If you are with your child, you should say thank you first and encourage your little one to say the same. Speak openly about seeing the kind actions of others. Soon your little darling will notice the civility in others on her own and show appreciation for it.

  1. Practice random acts of kindness

You don’t have to have a reason to do something nice for someone, like share some tea, send a nice text, or make dinner. But sometimes an event like a holiday, birthday, end of the school year, or International Siblings Day can give us a little motivation. My daughter loves to bake and so we are in the kitchen often, which mean we often have a little something sweet around the house. We have made it a habit to always make enough to share with someone outside of our house: a neighbor, a classmate, a teacher, a coach or friend. My little lady takes such joy in sharing and delivering the treat. But I think my joy in watching her is greater.

  1. Write thank you notes

While a thank you message sent via email or text is great, nothing shows you really care like a handwritten note. Even if your child is too young to write, a little scribble still counts. You can fill in a simple “Thank you for helping me/for the birthday gift/for being my teacher/for thinking of me” message if necessary. If you encourage this nicety early, your child will have it as part of his civility arsenal throughout life. And the art of the thank you note always draws a positive reaction and will always benefit your child now matter how old he is.

As a licensed etiquette trainer one of my favorite things to do is host children’s manner’s training sessions. Ask me about it at +1-868-757-1017 or laura@pearl-strategies.com

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THIS ALSO WAS PUBLISHED IN THE JULY 2017 CARE MAGAZINE DISTRIBUTED WITH TRINIDAD & TOBAGO GUARDIAN NEWSPAPER.